Know What You Want In Your Life

How To Know What You Want In Your Life

Billions of people roam the earth today. And with each waking moment, there seems to be a destination, as almost everybody seems busy. Nothing describes this more than a metropolitan and its characteristic buzz, with the noise of million feet storming off to something in the morning and then coming back dog-tired at night. And the circle continues.

However, stop a few of these people and ask a simple question, “what do you really want? And you will be surprised at the shocking answers you will get.

It's either, most do not really know, many have forgotten or a few know, but are doing the exact opposite of what needs to be done to get what they want. It's an apocalypse of purposeless living.

Like all things there are exceptions, and yes, you might find one or two who know exactly what they want and they have it or are doing what needs to be done to get it. Unfortunately, it was just until recently I stopped track of my robotic living and decided to truly search my soul, and assess my life’s choices to ensure I was a part of this elite few.

And in this article, you will come to learn how you too can figure out what it is you really want out of life, and how to get it, by stepping out of your own way.

Know What You Want In Your Life

Ask The Right Questions

What do you really want?

Ask yourself this question, but don’t rush to give an answer. Take your time, and ruminate on it. Dig deep and honestly appraise where you are, where you are coming from and where you want to go. Then give an answer.

The truth is, most people are lost today because they do not ask themselves the right questions. However, Philip Slavchev in his book The Power of Asking Questions highlights the importance of asking ourselves a lot of questions. In fact, the more questions you ask and the more answers you are able to truthfully provide, the more you know about yourself, your goals, and your vision.

Below are a few questions you should ask yourself if you would ever come to the knowledge of your own purpose in life. 

- What Makes You Happy?
- What Are Your Needs?
- What Are Your Values?
- What Gives You a Sense of Purpose?

What Makes You Happy?

I remember waking up to the sound of the alarm every day, filling my system with enough caffeine just to be able to do a job I really hated. Frankly, I was tired and unhappy. So, I asked myself this question. I wrote my answers on a sheet of paper, and by the time I was done, I realized If I didn't make changes in my life, I will be an unhappy human.

So, I challenge you right now. Stop whatever you are doing, and look for a quiet place where you can be by yourself. Then, think deeply and write down what makes you happy.

Gabriel García Márquez, the famed Columbian writer is reputed to have said that no medicine can truly cure what only happiness can. And it is as true as the light of the SUN. 

What Are Your Needs?

In today’s world, people are controlled more by the opinion of others. There are literally billions of people who are more concerned about pleasing other people on social media, that they have lost touch with what they really need for themselves.

Is it possible, that your daily grind and hustle that is tearing your life down is fueled more by your desire for more likes and followers on social media? Is it possible you are sucking up to an elite class that does not really care much about you or the other people in their rank?

To truthfully answer the above questions, make a list of all the things you really need in your life, and match them up to the thousands of activities you do every day. You might soon come to the realization that you really do not need a new car, the one you are about to take a loan on.

Or you don't need to buy that costly gadzet, what you have is more than sufficient for you. And when we realize it, we are changed for good. We're happy and prosperous with what we have. 

What Are Your Values?

What are the things that you hold dear? The more specific your values are, the easier it would be for you to fashion your life to meet them.

Is family important to you? Do you believe in charity and philanthropy? 

Are you religious, or do you think it is noman’s duty to take care of the earth? 

Our personal values act like anchors. They keep us grounded in our truth as we take on life and its many complexities. They act as the star that leads us home as we navigate through the sea of billion decisions we have to make every day in our lives. So, 

Put Yourself First Sometimes

At the risk of sounding selfish, I will advise you to try putting yourself first henceforth. This might seem like a bad idea, however, have you ever considered what good you will be to those you love if you die doing other people’s bidding when you can actually do more by putting yourself first?

Unfortunately, many if not dead, wallow in a self-made cemetery where their dreams and purposes are buried alive because they are tethered to the desires of others, trying to please them at the risk of losing themselves, sacrificing their values, and denying what they truly want out of life. They fear putting themselves first means they become bad people, or they fear of losing everything merely trying for things they love to do. 

However, putting yourself first doesn’t mean using others as rug mats to get the things out of life. It means knowing what you want, and what makes you happy and refusing to sacrifice it just to please a bunch of people in your life. 

Iyanla Vanzant, the renowned inspirational speaker, teaches that being good to yourself is as much a selfless act as being good to others. After all, you can only give what you have. 

Balance Is Key

One of the most important skills any human being must learn is how to balance things. You see, even that which is good, if not done moderately will eventually yield negative results.

Even the Bible says “honey is good but too much of it will run the stomach”

In the pursuit of the things that you want, you must learn temperance. Many have lost valuable relationships, their health, and even their values. After a while, they soon realize their need of it all. 

Save to say, cutting out time from my busy schedule to be a parent has been one of the best decisions I ever made. Is it demanding and inconvenient? Yes, it is. But it also comes with more pleasure and fulfillment. I wouldn’t trade what I have with them for a million dollars.

Ask Yourself What You Don't Want

If you find yourself lost in a place you don’t like, the first thing you must ask yourself is “how did I get here?”

The above illustration works all the time. Take note of all you hate about yourself currently, and the opposite of all of these will exactly be what you want your life to be like. If you are poor, then it means you want to be rich. If you believe you are overweight, then you need to get into shape. If you think you have no friends and it is bugging you out, then, you most likely need to get new friends.

However, the question is how do you get what you want? I strongly believe that most people are in horrible situations not because they like it, but because, they don’t know how to get out. And those who even know how to get out of these situations have developed bad habits to ensure they never do anything positive towards leaving the mess they are in.

Below are steps I take to get myself out of things I do not like.
- I forgive myself and my past
- I leave the environment that enables my bad habit
- I patiently work my way through things


Look deep into yourself. Everything you observe is your responsibility. And if anybody can pull you out, it is yourself. Now, that you know exactly what you do not want in your life, it is time for you to take the bull by the horn and change your self and condition. Is not it?